Becoming Us™ Facilitator Training

Becoming Us™ Facilitator Training April 2016

It’s time to bring the village back

Interested in this course? Email us at support@becomingusfamily.com


WHO ELSE WANTS TO BE PART OF THE SOLUTION?


OUR ON-LINE TRAINING IS STARTING NOW

Registration Closes Soon! CPD approved.


We have way-too-high rates of perinatal anxiety, depression and relationship distress. If you're a birth, health, mental health or educational professional, join us for this unique online training which equips you to fill the gaps in parenthood preparation and postpartum support. You can work with couples in ways that support their mental, emotional and relationship wellbeing.

At the completion of this training you will be able to deliver the

4 week "Becoming Us™ Parents Program"

You can use this with your clients as a couple, or in a group format.




There are wonderful resources and support for pregnancy and birth and wonderful resources and support for parenting - but there's a big gap in between. Parents often aren't aware of this gap - until they’ve fallen into it.

Babies are gorgeous creatures but along with the abundant joys, the truth is that parenthood brings a great deal of change and some unexpected challenges for parents to negotiate and overcome. The first few months (and years!) of family can be confusing, chaotic and overwhelming. Expecting parents don’t know what they don’t know and new parents are so immersed in it they can't see the bigger picture or the road ahead. Many parents feel like they missed their only chance to prepare for the single-most-important-event-in-their-life only when it's in hindsight.

It doesn’t have to be this way...





Maybe you're a parent so you know from your own experience there's more we need to prepare parents for but your professional training stops short of what to do and how to do it.

Maybe you were so moved by your own experiences of early parenthood (or you're still in the thick of it!) you want to share your wisdom but you're so overwhelmed yourself, you don't know where to begin.

Perhaps you're the sort of professional who loves learning, wants to be on the front-end of education and take advantage of whatever training opportunities are out there.

Or if you're a grandparent, you'll have generational wisdom. You'll know we've gone backwards in some ways, lost vital parts of our collective wisdom and we need a cultural change. You want to be part of the solution.

Maybe you're a combination of all these things. Either way - you have something extra that your clients need.



As a Relationship Counselor for over 15 years, I saw too many couples who had fallen into the gap between pregnancy and parenting. They blamed each other, lost the support of their partner, confidence in themselves as parents and became increasingly disconnected as a couple because they were unprepared for the normal twists and turns of early parenthood.

This can lead to high rates of anxiety, depression and relationship distress. We live in a world where 92% of parents report increased conflict in their first year of family and 67% a decline in relationship satisfaction in the first three. Over one in seven mamas and one in ten dads suffer from a perinatal mood disorder such as anxiety or depression. A traumatic birth experience increases their risk.

This is not a good start for our families!

In the days of the village, elders and more experienced parents guided newborn ones through the parenthood rite of passage. Becoming a parent is more complicated and challenging in our modern day world so more guidance is needed...

...and yet it’s nobody’s role to be a guide.





Which is why we're excited to introduce you to the new:

Online BECOMING US™ Facilitator Training!

This is a unique on-line educational course designed to meet the needs of birth, health, therapy, parenting and educational professionals who hope to bridge the parenthood gap, provide a more meaningful experience and the best beginning for their clients. The Becoming Us™ Facilitator training provides you with 14 sessions of unforgettable learning experiences, complementary theories and models, both landmark and current international research and evidence based education so you can make a real difference for your clients.


As a Certified BECOMING US™ Facilitator you can:

  • Work in a father/partner inclusive, couple focused and family building way, which has multiple immediate, short and long term benefits for your clients.
  • Understand relationship dynamics, how they apply to your couples and how to work with your clients in a strengths-based way.
  • Come away with a unique growth-based developmental model to help make sense or your client’s experience and potentially expand your services with targeted interventions.
  • De-mystify what parenthood means and break it down into that-makes-sense stages so the transition into parenthood is both more meaningful and more manageable.
  • Have ideas and inspiration to create new resources that set you apart as a service provider.
  • Increase your confidence in working with fathers, LBGTQ partners and couples.
  • Have the opportunity to learn from perinatal professionals in different disciplines, know when and how your clients might benefit from a relationship with them, and potentially establish referral pathways.
  • Come away with solid tools and resources for your toolkit that you can use immediately.

By the end of this unique training course, you will:

  • Be a bridge for your clients to support them through the before and after of becoming parents. You can close the gap!
  • Offer comprehensive, holistic support for the mamas, papas and partners in your care. This training is compatible with any childbirth preparation or parenting program.
  • Know ways to prepare your clients for the challenges they will inevitably face in the parenthood adventure. Know the normal twists and turns, the forks in the road and the swamps to avoid!
  • Know how to reduce risks for perinatal anxiety, depression and birth trauma for mothers, fathers and partners.
  • Be able to support your clients so they grow closer as a couple through the challenges, changes - and emerging differences - of parenthood, instead of apart.
  • Join with other birth, health, therapy and parenting colleagues internationally to cross-pollinate. Connect with those in your neighborhood to build a local perinatal professional nest for the families in your community.
  • Discover landmark studies and keep abreast of current Australian and International research so your clients are informed.
  • Support your clients to feel calmer, confident and more connected – within themselves and with their partner.
  • Put down deep roots to help grow a strong, resilient family – right from the very beginning!

This training is designed for you if you are a:

  • Birth Professional: OB/GYN, Childbirth Educator, Midwife, Birth or Postpartum Doula or Breastfeeding Consultant.
  • Mental Health or Therapy Professional: Perinatal Psychiatrist, Marriage and Family Therapist, Psychotherapist, Psychologist, Counsellor or Social Worker.
  • Health Professional: Pediatrician, Physiotherapist, Reflexologist, Osteopath, Homeopath, Prenatal Yoga Instructor or Massage Therapist.
  • Parenting Professional, Relationship, Life or Parenting Coach, Educator, Teacher, or Trainer.
  • Cultural Creative, Employer, Community Leader, Spiritual Advisor or Healer.

    You'll experience:



Here's what you'll learn:

BECOMING US™ Level I – Foundation Skills (Tilling the Soil and Planting the Seeds)

Session 1: Loving. We'll start with a brief theory of infant and adult attachment and why the perinatal period is ripe for structuring a more secure bond between partners – and why this is exciting for you in your role! We'll also look at relationship dynamics and how they change during the perinatal period (couples becoming the new 'us') and what that means for your clients. You'll learn the three stages of relationship development: Coming Together, Growing Apart and Growing Together and how to facilitate your clients' moving through the stages.

Session 2: Learning. You'll learn why the term "the transition into parenthood" is a misnomer - parenthood involves multiple transitions! In defining these, you may discover new ways to work with your clients and expand your services and continue to develop ideas over the course. We'll start to peel back the layers of "the way we work", giving you more insight into your clients (and perhaps yourself!). We’ll also look at at stress and coping - the why's and ways of clients "putting the oxygen mask on themselves" - and how you can support both yourself and your clients to do less of the former and more of the latter.

Session 3: Growing. You'll discover new research into neuroplasticity which gives us exciting clues as to how to better prepare expecting couples for the parenthood adventure. You'll learn Erik Erikson’s stages of development and how they apply to children, adults and parents. You’ll be introduced to the theory of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, the function of emotions and why parenthood is the perfect time to become more emotionally savvy. You'll learn the G.R.O.W.T.H. seeds to plant for your clients.

Session 4: Relating. You’ll learn (and get to practice) the skills of intimate communication, a simple, direct, trusting and vulnerable style of relating that can change relationship DNA. You'll learn a model of conflict resolution which you can apply to any relationship and we'll also look at the psychology of apology and an approach that won't just improve the situation, but your client's whole relationship.

Level 1 will be followed by a live Q&A and discussion call so you can meet with your local and international colleagues.

Following BECOMING US™ Level I training, you will know which seeds to plant, when to plant them and what a difference they can make for your clients.



BECOMING US™ Level II – The 8 Stages of Early Parenthood (and 8 Steps of the Adventure)

Session Five: Step 1 - Prenatal Preparation. We call it “expecting” but expecting is a huge waste of time and a lost opportunity. You’ll learn what to prepare your clients for and how to prepare them. If you’re working with clients who are trying to conceive or adopting, they will have more time to prepare. You'll learn what the big issues are for expecting mamas, papas and partners, how to work with their (possibly unrealistic) expectations to reduce their risk for Postpartum Depression and Anxiety and how to open the lines of communication around sensitive topics.

Session Six: Step 2 - Nest Building. Couples often prepare a birth plan, but birth is just the beginning. The postpartum period, the fourth trimester, is pivotal for all members of a new family. Learn how to help your clients set themselves up for the best start.

Session Seven: Step 3 - Adjusting Expectations. 30% of Australian mothers say unrealistic expectations of life and love post-baby contributed to their Postnatal/Postpartum Depression. Learn how to gently tease out and adjust expectations to support coping.

Session Eight: Step 4 - Setting Up Base Camp. This stage prepares couples for the challenges that will unfold over the next few years. Learn what mothers, fathers and partners need so they can best meet the needs of their baby and toddler. When times get tough, families can return at any time to base camp and recuperate.

At this point you will know how to prepare and support your clients for their first few months of family.

Session Nine: Step 5 - Embracing Emotions. And supporting your clients to embrace theirs! Parenthood is a time of increased emotional vulnerability. Embrace this and you can support your clients' mental and emotional health. Create stronger bonds in all their relationships through emotional connection and empathy.

Session Ten: Step 6 - Identity and Self-Esteem. Most parents expect aspects of life to change after baby but most don’t expect parenthood to change aspects of themselves. Many mothers are blindsided by the unexpected drop in self-esteem. Learn how to support your clients to embrace the changes and use parenthood as a time of self-discovery, self-acceptance or reinvention.

Session Eleven: Step 7 - Growing Together through Differences. A whopping 92% of couples report increased conflict in the first year after baby. It’s easy to see why - sleep deprivation will do that to anyone! New parents have a laundry list of issues to deal with - financial concerns, changes in goals, roles and priorities, troubles with extended family, daily stressors, overcrowded lives and pressured lifestyles, lack of self-care, new disagreements and failing communication. These issues can bring most new families undone. You will know how managing these issues can bring your couples closer, instead of sending them apart.

Session Twelve: Step 8 - Connecting and Reconnecting. 67% of couples report declined relationship satisfaction in the first three years of family. In my experience this is because parenthood issues have come between them - and they have become disconnected from each other. I also believe this disconnection is linked to recent Australian findings that mothers are reporting more symptoms of Postnatal/Postpartum Depression when their eldest child is 4 years of age. You will learn how to keep couples connected at different levels - mentally, emotionally, sensually and sexually - through all the stages!

Following will be our Level II live Q&A and discussion call.

At this point you'll know how to prepare and support your clients for the first few years of family.

Following BECOMING US™ Level II training, you will know how to prepare, guide and support your clients through the longest, widest and steepest of journeys.



BECOMING US™ Level III – Extra Support for the Hard Stuff

Session Thirteen: Reducing Risks for Affairs, Addiction and Abuse. It’s a tragic fact that due to increased stresses, pregnancy and early parenthood can be a time of increased risk for affairs, addiction and abuse. Twenty-five percent of Australian women who experienced domestic violence for the first time was during their pregnancy. In the U.S., substance abuse is more common among women of childbearing age - and partners - than the general population. You'll know why and how to reduce the risk for your clients. And for those who have already experienced it, there is hope even when clients have hit rock bottom. You'll have more awareness about the worst of times so you and your clients have more appreciation for the best of them.

Session Fourteen: Reducing Risks for Birth Trauma, Grief, Depression and Anxiety. One in seven mamas suffer from Postpartum Depression as do one in ten dads. New research from Monash University in Australia shows that Postpartum Anxiety is proving to be a more prevalent problem, with 33% of mamas and 17% of dads reporting symptoms. A traumatic birth increases the risk for both perinatal mood disorders and relationship breakdown. New research is also (finally!) confirming what Relationship Counsellors and Marriage Therapists have experienced for years – that trauma and emotional distress are both related to couple bonding . You’ll know the signs and symptoms for both mothers and fathers, how to reduce the risks and promote coping for your clients.

Following Level III we will have your final live Q&A and discussion call and our special celebration closure ceremony.

Following BECOMING US™ Level III training you will have learned some challenging lessons of parenthood and how to support couples through even the toughest of them.



At this point you will have achieved certification to deliver the Becoming Us™ Course for Parents, which you can use with individuals, couples or groups. You will also have ongoing membership to our closed Facebook group for continued collaboration and support.


Meet your guide:

Elly Taylor is becoming known worldwide as the Parenthood Pioneer for her research and work in the transition into parenthood. As a Relationship Counsellor, Parenting Educator and a new mama at the same time, Elly became aware of high rates of emotional distress and relationship dissatisfaction in new parents and started started noticing a similar pattern in the stories of the mamas and papas she was working with. She was on a mission.

Over 15 years Elly independently researched the transition into parenthood and drew on her Psychology training and clinical experience in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy to develop a new model and ways of working with today's parents that supports the mental, emotional and relationship wellbeing of mothers, fathers and partners. The Becoming Us™ model is designed to prepare couples for their best pregnancy, birth and postpartum experience, lay down firm foundations for their whole family and navigate couples through the transitions into parenthood in ways that bring them closer as partners and sets them up for a mutually supportive long term co-parenting relationship.

Elly has been invited to serve on advisory panels for Monash University, Newcastle University and The Australian Catholic University research projects and also for the international perinatal mental health organisation, Marce International. Elly's landmark book Becoming Us, 8 Steps to Grow a Family that Thrives has been endorsed by perinatal professional associations in Australia and the U.S. and she is now sharing her research at conferences worldwide.

Elly is a columnist for Australia's favourite parenting magazine, Practical Parenting, and Resident Relationship Expert for Daily Life website. She lives in Sydney with her firefighter husband, their three children and a bunch of pets.




Here's some love from our current students:


"Elly Taylor’s Becoming Us™ model is a game-changer for new parents and those working to support them. In my meetings with parents-to-be, a question I frequently hear is, “How can we work best as a team?”.The Becoming Us™ facilitator training course delivers a treasure trove of knowledge, wisdom, and practical tools that are helping me help couples achieve that goal.


Within just weeks of starting the course, I was able to draw on the lessons, “plant seeds”, and observe how positively clients responded to this approach. The course is well-organized (with multiple delivery modes) and contains links to an engaging variety of supplementary support materials.

A special bonus is the opportunity to work closely with Elly. She is an inspiring teacher and colleague with a gift for fostering communication and connection among her students

This training has given me a wealth of practical wisdom and knowledge that I can use to help parents. It has also welcomed me into a global Becoming Us™ community of like-minded colleagues dedicated to helping new parents get off to the best possible start."



Sally Placksin
Author of Mothering the New Mother and
Creator, Mothering the New Mother Workshops.




"I just finished a session with parents of a two week old baby. They both asked to return next week. There were tears of relief as I normalised their experience. Thank you for this wonderful opportunity!

Carol Peat
Owner of Babies, Naturally and Braveheart Parenting





"I’m really enjoying this course. The Orchid Hypothesis in Level 1 and ways of actually explaining things to parents is
great. I’ve used the ideas a lot! I found Level 2 solidified a lot of what I know and introduced some really interesting new concepts. I'm really looking forward to level 3. I for one really appreciate what you have created."



Rebecca McCann
Psychotherapist, Hertfordshire Therapy Centre, Welwyn Garden City, UK



"Going through the facilitator training with Elly has given me such a fresh perspective, renewed energy and enthusiasm for fully supporting the families I work with as they find their a new normal, adjust, and most of all find joy in these early days of parenthood.

I love that through the course I had access to such up to date research and information. I now have an even deeper, richer knowledge base of what the adjustment into parenthood really and truly is, and what my role as a parent educator and coach can be. I want to be able to offer genuine and helpful support to new parents, and this course very much enriched my ability to do just that.

The biggest plus is that everything from the course is immediately applicable so as I would finish each section, I already noticed myself reflecting and planning how to incorporate everything I learned."


Ariadne Brill
Parent Educator, Positive Parenting Connection, Switzerland



"Elly Taylor’s Becoming Us Facilitator Training is an incredibly valuable tool for me in my work as a Childbirth Educator. I’m honored to work with expectant families during this most vulnerable time of transition. They’re hungry for information that goes beyond “getting the baby out!”

They want to know how their relationship will survive among the dirty diapers, the sleep deprivation, and all the other realities of new parenthood. The Becoming Us Facilitator Training Course provided me with tools to begin planting the seeds of normal expectations for my couples.

When they encounter the realities of new parenting that that happen even in the strongest of relationships, they can look back and remember: “We talked about these issues, they’re normal, and we have the resources to transition from couple to new family because this was not unexpected.”

Elly’s book, Becoming Us, should be required reading for all expectant families. But her Becoming Us Facilitator Training should be required coursework for all those who work with this population.

If all prenatal professionals could better prepare couples for the realities of parenthood, then we, too, could be “growing families that thrive."


Barb Buckner Suárez
Childbirth Educator, Portland, Oregon





"I had been working with moms of little ones for several years, but it was around this time that it became my passion. In addition to my clinical work I spend a great amount of time providing education in my community.

This may include medical professionals, moms groups, pregnancy fairs, and community health fairs, this is one of the ways I am able to share the importance of community in prenatal/postpartum work.

This also provides many opportunities for me to educate on the importance of partner involvement during the perinatal period.

In the beginning, my work was greatly focused on treating mom. I found as I treated moms that often something was lacking.

I encourage the moms I work with to take advantage of their social support network, if they are struggling in this area we spend time helping to create a network. Elly’s work in creating the Becoming Us training has allowed me to bring to light one of the main facets of the social support network, the partner relationship.

Ideally, I am able to work with both mom and partner together, but even when I am only able to work with mom, if I can educate her on the importance of nurturing the partner relationship she works hard to do her part.

I can vividly remember the experience of one of my moms-to-be when after many solo sessions her husband joined her. She was so worried that he wouldn't want to participate but he really seemed to appreciate the opportunity to talk. He had a lot of questions and I was able to provide support to both of them. We actually ran out of time and they made another appointment!

I can't wait to continue this work and have to share how helpful the Becoming Us curriculum is in doing so. It is a great addition to my clinical work.

Thanks so much Elly Taylor, you have played a huge role in my work and passion from the very beginning of my journey into the perinatal world and I'm so thankful. I’m certain the women and couples in my small corner of the world echo my many thanks."



Enjonae Anderson
Licensed Professional Counselor, Mended Hearts Counseling, High Point, North Carolina



"I became a birth and postpartum Doula after the traumatic birth of my first child and a postpartum which was best described as a blur. After that experience I began researching and began to see patterns.

There were things that were known to make a difference to families, both before and after birth. I undertook my Doula certification but I still had questions, and I was hungry to find the research to back it up - but I didn't have the time.

Then I discovered the Becoming Us Facilitator Training, and I told my partner that I just HAD to do it. "Why not train as a counsellor?" he said! "But I don't need to be a counsellor to make a difference", was my reply.
After doing the course I know that I have found my passion, helping families transition to parenthood successfully, with evidence based information and easy to use tools.
Thank you Elly. You have saved me 15 years of looking and writing!"


Kelly Evans - The Modern Doula
CD(DONA) PCD(DONA) CPES(PBI)
and now Village Elder




"It’s a real honour to be part of this community and I’m really excited about where I will take this adventure next. When I decided to undertake the program I saw a niche market for my coaching business which I really connected with. I was hoping to be educated on the difficulties facing mothers and fathers when becoming parents and your program has taken me to the root of the issues and has definitely filled my knowledge gap. Thank you for having the vision and for sharing it."


Margaret Welten
Career Coach, University of Delft, Netherlands





Frequently Asked Questions:

Will people be able to log in on their own schedule?

Yes, you can log into the webinars in your own time. There are questions in the webinars that are posted to our Facebook group for further discussion. Join in when you can. The only time-dependent sessions will be our live Q&A calls at the end of each level. These calls will also be recorded in case you can’t make them.

When you say “certification”, what does that mean?

It means you’ll be qualified and entitled to use the Becoming Us™ course for parents, which you can use with individuals, couples or in a group setting. We are only offering this huge bonus for no extra cost as part of our May pilot program. More information about the use of the program will be given to you towards the end of your training.

However, you'll also want your certificate for Continuing Professional Development points. For example, 26 hours of training = 26 points with the Australian College of Midwives. We will also seek Continuing Education Units/CPD's from Australian and international providers if there's enough demand. Details will be put up as the applications are processed.

In the live sessions, will you be the only instructor?

I’ll be asking facilitators to email questions as they arise so we can keep track of them. I’ll answer the ones I can on the call. For the ones I can’t, if I know there’s someone who is doing the course who has more experience or a unique perspective in that area, I’ll invite them ahead of time to offer their knowledge. I am fortunate to have some relationships with experts worldwide to call on for help with specific questions we can’t answer in-house. We’ll also have our Private Facebook Group if there’s something we can’t track down before the call.

If I already have extra training in this area can I do just part of this course?

The Becoming Us™ Facilitator Training is designed so that each level builds from the one before. Also, each introduces different counselling theories, techniques or approaches you may want the option of adding to your tool box - as well as a handout from every session you can use immediately with your clients (some of them you'll want for yourself!). Whilst we may consider it down the track pending requests, the Becoming Us™ Facilitator Training will be run as an entire program these first few piloting times.

When are classes scheduled for?

Due to the success of our initial pilot, this year the training is scheduled to run twice. The first in May and then in September. If you choose to pace yourself and perhaps do the sessions weekly, Level I runs for four weeks. Level II runs for 8 weeks and Level III runs for two weeks. Alternatively, you can binge and break as works for you. Remember, everything will be recorded and the Facebook group will be on-going, so it's easy to keep up and stay connected with your peers.

I haven't read Becoming Us the book yet, will that put me at a disadvantage?

Not at all! In fact, you'll get a copy of Becoming Us at the special Facilitator discount price when you enroll. You can start on it early or read each chapter to supplement your training, whatever works best for you. You can also use your Facilitator code to purchase discounted copies of Becoming Us for your clients if you wish.

Any other questions? Please email me: elly@ellytaylor.com.

Course Curriculum

BECOMING US™ FACILITATOR TRAINING - LEVEL I: THE SEEDS
BECOMING US™ FACILITATOR TRAINING – LEVEL II: THE STAGES AND STEPS
BECOMING US™ FACILITATOR TRAINING – LEVEL III: EXTRA SUPPORT FOR THE HARD STUFF

What's included?

19 Quizzes
28 Surveys
58 Texts
1 PDF
26.0
Elly Taylor
Elly Taylor
Author and Founder of Becoming Us

About the instructor

Perinatal relationship expert Elly Taylor has combined her experience as an Emotionally Focused Relationship Counsellor with decades of research and some hard-earned personal wisdom to create Becoming Us, a new approach to parenthood. Becoming Us is a theoretical and practical framework that supports the mental, emotional and relationship wellbeing of mothers, fathers and familes as they grow. 

Elly has served on advisory panels for Monash University, Newcastle University and The Australian Catholic University and is currently on the advisory board for the International Forum for Wellbeing in Pregnancy. 

Elly lives in Sydney with her firefighter husband, their three children and a bunch of pets. Her favourite things, aside from her family, are teaching, travelling (when she can) and meeting professionals who do this incredibly meaningful, sometimes challenging, and yet truly beautiful "Becoming Us" work.

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